Portuguese only - Fantasporto

O Fantasporto está quase aí, e, se forem como eu, hão-de querer saber que filmes catitas vão passar por lá este ano. Pois bem, a programação provisória dos Auditórios do Rivoli já está online e podem vê-la aqui (para o Grande) e aqui (para o pequeno).
Ainda tenho de as investigar com mais atenção, mas posso já dizer que me saltaram de imediato dois filmes para ver: Choke... e Tokyo Gore Police. A sério, olhem para este trailer.

Espero que seja tudo o que o badalado Machine Girl não foi.

Crank (2006)

After watching the trailer for Crank 2 and nearly cracking up with the ridiculous concept of the movie and the gratuitous violence and cussing it promised, I realized it was a huge flaw on my bad movie fan resumée that I never watched the first Crank. I've always heard a lot about it, so why had I not seen it yet? It was time to finally give Crank a chance, so last night me and Cosmic prepared ourselves for some brainless fun and popped in Crank.

The makers of Crank found the golden ticket for being able to inject a movie full of senseless violence and thrills, and at the same time have no one question what happens. The story revolves aound a hitman called Chev Chelios, who finds out he's been injected with some crazy Chinese poison that slows his heartrate and will ultimately kill him... unless he keeps his adrenaline pumping at extremely high levels. That explains all that needs to be explained in his movie: why is Chelios driving high-speed through a mall? Why, he can't stop the adrenaline. Why is Chelios standing bare-assed on top of a moving police motorcycle? Obviously, to keep his heart rate has high as possible. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in this movie, but that's all the explaining you need: Chelios is trying to stop death.

Jason Statham does what he does best, which his punch guys in the mouth/shooting guys in the head while looking crazy as all hell and swearing his mouth off. He does pratically the same part in all of his movies, but no one expects him to be Daniel Day-Lewis. As long as he's punching dudes, it's alright. The pace of the movie is as fast as Chelios needs his heart to be - it never slows down. The story is pretty unexistant, but who would see Crank for the story anyway? The editing was actually pretty nifty, superior to what one would expect to see on such a brainless action flick.

All in all, Crank is like GTA embodied in a movie: fast-paced, violent, insane and hilarious. I was laughing for the most part of the movie at how crazy and ridiculous everything was - but entertaining at the same time. It was a cool action movie, and a great pick for a brainless Friday night.

Also, since I already knew about Crank 2, the ending failed to surprise me. But I wasn't in it for the story anyway.

Keanu Reeves to be Spike Spiegel

And because the world isn't made of good news, I came to know this morning that Keanu Reeves will be playing Spike on FOX's live action adaptation of the anime Cowboy Bebop. The same FOX who is doing such a lovely work with the Dragon Ball adaptation. The same cardboard Keanu Reeves we're used to.

Now, while I think the anime is a little easier to adapt to live action than Dragon Ball, and thus less prone to ridiculous cheesy dialogue (especially because the anime was richer story-wise than DB) and wire-fights, I don't really believe they'll do a good job (I mean, FOX has such a record of ruining stuff that's good, it's hard to trust them anymore). Plus, I think Keanu Reeves as Spike is just downright bad casting. Bad news, overall - I think they should leave Cowboy Bebop well enough alone.

"Watchmen" is safe!

Fellow geeks, its time for us to release a collective sigh of relief, because our main movie for 2009 is safe and sound. Fox and Warner reached an agreement over the Watchmen case yesterday, which means that the release date of March 6th is secured. It's only a couple of months away and I can't express my joy - now if you'll escuse me, I'll be jumping up and down in my bed, squeaking "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" for a few hours.

Sex Panther now for sale!

Not specific movie news, but it's something movie related. And related to one of my favorite comedies, of all things!

Good news for all you Anchorman fans and bad news for anyone with a sharp olfactory sense: there's a real Sex Panther cologne now for sale! If you want to wave 30 bucks out of your wallet, go here to purchase. But be warned: Sex Panther is a manly cologne, and you must not dare wear it if you're not manly, or don't have a moustache.

Those of you who've seen Anchorman clealy know what I'm talking about, but to those of you who don't I say: boooo. You should see Anchorman. But, kind as I am, I leave you with a video of Sex Panther in action. Enjoy!

(hopefully the subject of today's post will get a lot of hits on this blog muahaha)

Steven Seagal + Vampires = Awesome (or maybe not)

Just in case you were wondering what straight-to-DVD flick is Steven Seagal starring in these days, I've got the answer for you. It's called Against the Dark and it is, of all things, a vampire movie - imagine that! Steven Seagal trying to emulate Wesley Snipes and approaching the subject of vampire killing. The plot goes like this:

"Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. On the post apocalyptic globe, sucked dry by bloodthirsty vampires, a few remaining survivors are trapped in an infected hospital. Tao is their only hope and he knows the only cure is execution. Now it's time for the last stand against the flesh-eating vampires and there's nothing left to lose but the last of humanity. "

Flesh-eating vampires? Aren't vampires only supposed to drink blood? Or is this some weird zombie-vampire mash-up?
Anyway, call me old-fashioned, but I'm not that much into vampire movies where people are shooting bazookas or something like that at the vampires (I prefer the old "stake through the heart" thing), but this has Steven Seagal, the greatest actor alive, and I definitely want to see him portray his long range of emotions while offing some bloodsuckers. I'm going to get my hands on this puppy, because it's going to be cheeseballin' awesome .

Yep, you guessed it - another Watchmen Post

My computer is back, and consequently I am back to blogging. I apologize for not even wishing you guys a Happy New Year, but I really just wanted to post that featurette quickly and before I forgot to do it, because I wasn't even on my computer. That being said, I hope you had a lot of fun and didn't throw up (too much).

Also, sorry about the flop that was my Christmas-songs-a-palooza thing, but I failed to find most of the songs available to embed. You didn't want to listen to them anyway, but who knows, maybe next year I'll get more than two songs in here.

Now! Time for a new post. And about what could it be? Watchmen, of course. And what could be geekier than anything Watchmen related? Well, if it's JAPAN related as well! Huzza! Well, here you have the Watchmen japanese trailer, that has some new footage, so make sure your geek friends don't get too ahead of you and watch this already.

Quick post - Watchmen Featurette

My computer is, once again, momentarily absent, but I couldn't resist sharing this with you.



I just hope the recent lawsuit deal doesn't hold back the opening too much... I want to see this movie so bad. Don't screw with us, FOX!

Trailer Post: Wolverine

The final trailer for the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie was released recently - it aired before The Day the Earth Stood Still in the USA - and it looks better than the previous one, so it made its way into my privileged Trailer Post section.

(Actually it's not that privileged, now that I think about it. I keep posting trailers of that turd fest know as Dragonball Evolution.) But I digress. Here goes Wolverine:

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

Although my excitement level for Watchmen is pretty much overshadowing my anticipation for any other 2009 movie, I'm pretty curious to see this Wolverine movie. Wolverine was always my favorite out of the X-Men Universe, and I'm glad he's the first to get his spin off. Besides, we finally get a look at Gambit, who I think always deserved a place in the movies - I'm not that satisfied with his characterization, but at least they didn't butcher him into oblivion, like they do in other movies *cough*dragonball*cough* - and plenty more characters, like Sabretooth, Deadpool and Blob.
All in all, I definitely want to see this. I just hope it's not a total cheesefest.

Trailer Post: Dragonball Evolution and Terminator Salvation

Two more trailers for you today.

First we have Dragonball Evolution (yeah, apparently it's how its called now).

The good news about this is that Piccolo looks a little more green, at least from a certain angle. The bad news is that pretty much everything else is still shit. It looks slightly better than the previous trailer, but that's like saying a piece of crap with a cherry on top looks better than a piece of crap by itself. I think I'm desensitized enough that this new trailer didn't make me want to stab my eyes with a fork, but that doesn't mean it didn't make me suffer on the inside. Oh well.

Next up, Terminator Salvation.

Rise of the Machines was a weak movie in my opinion, and I don't think it fits very well in the franchise, but I hope this 4th sequel proves superior and refreshes the Terminator universe. The trailer looks good, other than that I don't know what much to say... certainly didn't blow me away, but I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. More than that actually, because it stars Christian Bale, and I'm confident he'll do a great job as John Connor. So even if the movie is not all that, I'm sure it'll have at least ONE good performance.

What other trailers have you been watching?